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Quest for a Cow
"Quest for a Cow" is the 139th episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the eighth episode of Season 7. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Falskaar (mod) Questline, specifically the quests "Dreams in Oblivion" and "Runaway Cattle." Plot Dreams in Oblivion Waiting for Squ'ishyballs to come back, Mai Dik decides to go on a side quest to pass the time. She gets on a horse and looks for Vernan's hidden lair. Vernan was once a member of the priory but he was banished once they found out he was practicing necromancy. Soon enough, she finds the entrance of the lair and goes in to check out what he was up to. She finds a journal and brings it to Arnand in charge of the priory. The journal details Vernan's quest for magical crystals to do powerful stuff, which Mai Dik's companion Emre thinks has already been done by a "way more talented daedric prince" and perhaps Vernan copied him. While Arnand reads Vernan's journal, Mai Dik messes around, dips her feet in dirty water, makes other priors dance, and harasses Arnand until he's done reading. The next day, Arnand wakes up from his slumber (reading session) and discusses Vernan's intent to gather all fragments of the dream crystal (five in total) to create a plane in oblivion where he could create anything he could dream of. Emre suggests that Mai Dik could gather all fragments of the dream crystal to create a sexy copy of Squ'ishyballs and settle down to have a family together. Mai Dik thinks that's a great idea, especially considering that being with Squishy is all she can dream about. Brother Arnand tells Mai Dik that these crystal fragments could be found where there are irregular necromancy activity. Having encountered those many times, she checks her inventory to discover that she's already got four out of the five crystal fragments.https://youtu.be/evi3jpR4UEQ?t=6m10s "I'll keep an eye out for the shards but I won't look for fragments." Runaway Cattle Emre pieces together that these shards were used by the necromancers to make mudcrabs big and drive moose to suicide. Calling necromancers idiots for having stupid dreams, Mai Dik heads out to find the final crystal fragment. Following a moose that may have wanted to commit suicide, Mai Dik reaches Audmund's farm. Audmund has been having trouble with necromancers who set up a crystal to steal some of his cows. Having found her lead to her final fragment, Mai Dik takes a moment to sit next to a farmhand named Helena, Emre makes a rude comment about her, and then Mai Dik heads off north to where the necromancers set up the cow-stealing crystal. Along her trip to the necromancer hideout at Warmth's Edge Caverns, Mai Dik and Emre discuss Squ'ishyball's whereabouts. Mai Dik believes Squishy will come back for her. Emre tries not to get her hopes up and does his best to convince her that many times when a man leaves, they don't come back. "Shut up, I'm going to the Warmpth's...Warmth's Edge Cavern. That's a really really weird word." Once inside the necromancer hideout, Mai Dik kicks a bunch of necromancer asses and name the farmer's lost cow Moses, after going through a list of candidate names like Buster, Francis, Cindy, Veronica, Mooronica, and Mooses. Mai Dik removes the crystal fragment and allows Moses the cow to go on her way. Unfortunately for her, the cow doesn't want to move. She resorts to violence but the cow still won't go back to her owner. The blood splatter makes art on the cow's thick coat and from that, she gets a new idea to use cows as billboards. She even advises Audmund that his cows should advertise "Audmund's Spiced Meat" after Audmund gives her spiced meat as a reward when the cow eventually makes it back to the farm (or not). Emre: "Maybe you let your cat go outside one too many times and it just never came back. That's a pretty common story. That's why they teach you to usually keep your cats indoors." Mai Dik: "But he's an outdoor cat. He's an outdoor kitty." Emre: "Oh, that's the risk you run with an outdoor kitty. Sometimes they just don't come back." Video See also * Season 7 * Mai Dik Reference Category:Season 7 Category:Episodes